Scarface Lives On In Our Hearts and Merch

When Scarface premiered in 1983, it was universally shat on by critics. It made $45.6 million at the domestic box-office (half of what Wolverine made in three days) not even putting it in the top 15 movies of that year. 

It did poorly because it was a very bad movie. Not that it really matters. 

Scarface is more alive now than he ever was before. And you better believe he's making more money today.

The "Scarface Philosophy" has been lovingly embraced by all kinds of young dummies who idealize a lifestyle of blind aggression, ambition and greed. And paranoia and droogs. Every syllable mumbled by Al Pacino in this movie has been emblazoned on jackets and shirts as ride-or-die mantras and his face is essentially a flag for the independent nation of Fuck You-stonia.

A popular motif, especially in shirt form, is old world Tony Montana rocking new world bling. Check out the 2009 Diamond-Encrusted Scarface with New Face Money. Time is money, but when you're ageless, time means nothing and money means everything (?) GET EVERY DOLLAR cuz you're a drug dealer now, I guess. 

I almost bought this shirt in Coney Island because just think about how ridiculous this piece of clothing would be without any context. Like if Al Pacino didn't exist. I almost bought it. 

This is legal tender in Miami. When local authorities came across these "Montana Bucks," they notified the Secret Service who was basically like, "Yo. Respect." 

Most Scarface merch circulates in a quasi black market. Almost none of it is sanctioned by Universal or any other creative authority linked to the original movie. But by 2006, it was obvious there was real money to be made on a this dead drug-addicted kingpin so Vivendi released the video game Scarface: Get the Fuck Out of My Mansion

Once a legitimate stream of revenue was established, the Scarface merch floodgates ripped right off the hinges. 

That's right, Bobby. It's a Scarface action figure! Don't thank me. Thank cocaine, I guess!

Of course in 1983 Scarface was meant to be a tragedy. It was supposed to be a didactic tale warning people of the dangers of having too much power. Leave it to the hip hop community and literally everyone on Cribs to idolize the motherfucker for being some kind of paragon of success and style. 

The guy was only rich for like two years before he got totally riddled with bullets. Sic transit gloria!

"Oh man. Now that I got this sweet Scarface tattoo on my arm for the rest of my life, all I need to do now is meet the girl of my dreams who is totally going to love waking up and seeing this in her face everyday forever." The World Is Yours (Mine)!

"Me too! Thank god I have to shave my chest to show people this very realistic and very permanent drawing! Check it out, my nipple hair is Scarface's chest hair! I fucking love crime!"


You still think sorority girls are the only people who frame their collages? No, sir or madam. There are a handful of establishments who will gladly assemble and frame a genuine "Scarface memorabilia collage" for you for a modest fee.  And just so we're on the same page, by memorabilia, I mean a replica machine gun, color photos and possibly a cigar. And by collage, I mean the silliest thing you could ever pay real money for. This will go perfect right between your beach towel tapestry of Biggie and Tupac fist-bumping in heaven and your life-size cardboard cutout of Eminem giving you the finger.

There is a line of high-end suits inspired by Tony Montana, which is great because WHAT. Also, HOW? Also, NO.

The only clothing line inspired by T-Mon should be this:

Hell yeah. At least with this, you'll actually look like Scarface instead of Jackie Treehorn. In fact, if you wear this retarded hoodie outside, assassins will actually try and shoot you but that's a good thing because THE WORLD IS YOURS etc. 

I honestly considered buying this $700 dollar limited edish Scarface box set because I always wanted to say I own a DVD that has a nicer bed than me. I bet the people responsible for this were really struggling to come up with some kind of coke angle for the packaging but had to give it up.

Right, women? This is very much a poster that is meant to be put up in a home and looked at often. This is a poster that is inspiring a whole generation of dudes going to business school. This is a poster that :(

Yeah you do, brah. BTW, Cockroaches = People. 

Scarface and Airbrush go together like coke and Scarface's face.

Basically, everything Scarface ever said is a Diddy album. 

Please wear this shirt outside. You'll get so much respect, I promise. Also check out the Twin Towers up there; that's for extra respect.

"Say Goodnight to the Bad Guy," AKA get the XXXL and wear it to bed. Wifey will fear and revere you. 

Hip Hop.

This makes me crack up more than any of the others because it's just so lazy. It's a horrible shot to grab for a poster but it goes so great with the quote.

Woods bought this one on Canal St. Take note: Tony Montana is smoking a blunt, which he definitely never does in the movie. Also, what up, Cooper Black All Caps. What up, least gangster typeface ever. 

Remember the inexplicable gangster obsession with Machiavelli? Like that, hopefully, this fixation will peak at its most outlandish (any day now?) and go away forever. 

The sad part about all of this Scarface Being Its Own Cottage Industry Thing (Why hasn't anyone made a Scarface Scarf?) is the one element of the movie that was kind of fashion-forward and still holds up today was his foxy girlfriend Michelle Pfeiffer.

And the only person she half-way inspired was Gwen Stefani.