Australian Mike Totally Just Threw Up On Himself

True story from high school. At a party.

Australian Mike was a clown who could not do anything without getting in trouble or throwing up. He told ridiculous stories like that. I'm not sure why he was in NJ but he was one of those fringe characters who you never actually remember meeting. And of course, since every 18 year old guy is named Mike, he had to be Australian Mike so I never learned his last name so I can't find him on FB. 

One time he was hungover at a mall in Sydney and he ran into the men's room to puke and in his haste he opened a stall and threw up on a dude who was pooping and he felt so bad for the poor man, he knocked him out. He barfed on him and then punched his lights out. Because he was so embarrassed about the puke.

Another time he ate a bunch of mushrooms with his buddy and went to a 7-11 to get candy and he ended up filling up a large coffee instead and by the time he got to the counter to pay, he totally forgot what he was doing and why he was there, so the first thing he thought to do was to try and rob the 7-11 guy, threatening him with the scalding coffee. His friend who was waiting in the parking lot finally noticed what was happening and ran in and convinced the 7-11 guy not to call the cops. That was in New Jersey.