Ke$ha Doesn't Have an Original Brown Tooth In Her Head

2009 brought us The Hangover, which basically means waking up in bile and being a mess all day Is The New Black. 

Cool. Whatever. We were all ahead of the curve on that one anyway (What's next, Hollywood's gonna say the breakfast burrito is the new mmm?). Then Ke$ha clawed her way out of a dry bathtub and was like, I'll show you quakers a morning after. 

"... blah blah blah, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack..."

Fair enough. Rinsing with whiskey is pretty hardcore I guess? But the act totally loses all potency when you realize Jason "Bored to Death" Schwartzman did it like 8 years ago in his totally emo music video for that O.C. song. 

Hahaha, who's hardcore now, Ke$h-face? He's wearing a bathrobe! He's so clean!

Cite your sources! Just kidding! Don't make music!