The Owls of The Renegade Craft Fair

If a cat's home is the Internet, then the owl undeniably holds dominion over the realm of craft. For at least another season. But don't take my word for it.

Enter...

"H'owl'd are you?"

"I'm 11 owl years young."

"Congr'owl'tulations!"

The problem with this beautifully-bound owl notebook is what are you going to write in it? People don't get journals to write about how adorable their lives are. Whoever buys this is gonna fill it with some Greenberg shit and then feel silly.

This owl looks like he would be the best friend in that new owl movie.

Once you know that owls can be found in all regions of the world (except Antarctica) including Greenland and remote islands, this print doesn't seem so insane.

There's too many dimensions of twee artifice here; I'm throwing in the t'owl.

A group of owls - a rarity - is called a parliament.

People associate owls with intelligence because Athena was a bird-goddess and she was all about wisdom and the arts (right? I don't really know). Mensa's mascot is an owl. Good one, Mensa.

Here, have an owl, Dad.

People eat owls in places like Malaysia, but don't you think they'd taste like old grandpas? Like old grandpa shoes?

If I'm certain of one thing, it's that this owl is gonna be covered in creamed carrots tomorrow. Sorry little guy.

Look, a P-funk of owls. This mama owl is teaching its babies how to hunt mice. Wireless mice. Zzz.

In Buster Bluth voice: "Hey, Onesie." Also, creamed carrots part deux. All up in that.

Finally. A vendor who portrays owls as they really are: Badass night killers with exorcist necks and cold, uncaring eyes. Solo hunters with bloodlust so insatiable they scream as they attack, "SCREEEEEE!!!"

Aw cute, they're kinda pixel-y too.

I used to have a stuffed animal like this when I was 6 but it was a hippo. This kind is tough because they never stand up on their own; I always had to lean it back against other stuffed animals but then it just looked like the leader of all the stuffed animals and it became a big political mess. Also, when you buy this you'll think it'll make a great little sofa pillow - and it will - but later you'll get up in the middle of the night for a glass of water and you'll see it staring at you in the dark and you'll feel so ridiculous for being scared. But you will be scared.

Owls are fucked up like that.