The Many Moods of Steven Tyler

Steven Tyler has always been a man of questions, not answers. To see him is to instantly call into question your own notions of Stardom and Manhood and Bimbosity. To see him is to know, undeniably, that you are unsure. But also that he's really ugly and stuff.

One gets the sense that he has always been 2nd banana to the "real" notion-challengers, the Bowies and Reeds and Princes and that Tyler was just too gawky and uncool to really possess any kind of raw sexual rockstar shit so he faked it. Not soulful enough to be a Jagger. Too tall to be a good dancer. Then and now, he powers through it, screaming and doing cartwheels and you know, basically doing a really good job. Cryin' and Flyin' and Dyin' etc.

The scarves, the feathers, The Mouth. He needs them because if it stops for one second, if he hears his own voice even for an instant, the lie shows through. And the lie is that he's a complex man but Steven Tyler, Aerosmith cannot betray Steven Tyler, Man.

Fortunately, Woody at The 21 Gun Salute and I have used our Science and our Math to decipher no fewer than 50 of Mr. Tyler's almost imperceptible emotions. Join us and witness our findings.