Mom Jeans 2.0

Here's the funny thing about Nü Mom Jeans. They're the exact opposite of what Tru Mom Jeans are all about. The original Mom Jean is incredibly diplomatic; they accommodated all shapes and sizes while maintaining the dual core objectives of bolstering a long crotch and accentuating girth in the rear. Nü Mom Jeans on the other hand, are only successfully worn if you have a very specific, tight little body. Looking at them, they look like something the Rockettes would wear if they were dressed as harried homemakers in one of their dance numbers. 

I am totally obsessed with them. 

If Mom Jeans Classic could talk they'd say: "I got a 9-inch tall vagina and I'm off the market, boys. My son's name is totally Derrick."

If Mom Jeans II could talk they'd say: "I have the knowledge of a grown woman and no time for pockets. I also have tattoos on my feet."