Hey Mister

​Hey Mister, the blog of Patrick Hosmer

Animal Jamz!

Anthropomorphism is the attribution of uniquely human characteristics to non-human creatures. Whatever, these things talk! I seen'em!

Tibetan Fox: "Btch, plz."

American Bison: "She thinks she's so smart. Well, I'm just gonna wait for her to come home with that Richard motherfucker and surprise the shit out of both of them. This snow will totally hide me. Who's smart now, whore?"

Pacific Walrus: "For the last time, I'm not the coach from Major League. That's my brother."

Northern Pygmy Owl: "I just invented Hot Pockets in my head. Get with this, and smartness like that happens all the time."

Himalayan Marmots: "Dude, we are in so much trouble." "I didn't know we were saving those nuts for everyone."

Mountain Goat: "Heeeey. I heard. Is everything OK?"

Eyelash Viper: "There's about to be a mouse in my mouth, muthafuckaaaaz."

Horned Puffins: "How do you look at porn all the time and not know who Sasha Grey is?" "I don't know their names."

Snowshoe Hare: "Fuck you, man. The Freelancer's Union has dental but it's way too expensive." 

Sea Otter: "Get a load of this guy. He doesn't think we're cute. Jimmy, go get the others."

Three-toed Sloth: "You know, I talk a lot shit, but it's true. I could be a better listener, I guess. Jonathan was totally right. Starting now, this is a new me. You hear that, Bronx Zoo? Get ready for the new and improved Timothy!"

Thanks for the pics, dudes

Patrick Hosmer5 Comments