Eagle Tattoos Are So Fuckin' Sweet

Do you know why I don't take this tattoo seriously? It needs an Eagle. Every tattoo needs to be an Eagle for it to be hardcore. Hey man, it's cool if you want something flashy and fun. Butterflies are fun. Carrots are fun. But if you're looking for the real thing, if you are not fucking around, if you want to scare the unborn child out of a would-be murderer or rapist, then you need to lift your sleeve and show him the feathered and screaming Truth on your 'cep. You need an Eagle, in ink, inside your skin, forever. 

God, Eagle tattoos are so fuckin' sweet.

Submitted for your approval is my evidence. Also, it's like 600% likely that the Eagle is an evolved T-Rex. So just shut up, because everything you can say that sucks about an Eagle is wrong. Are you gonna tell a T-rex or a T-rex's great uncle that he's a piece of shit? Hell no. Watch and learn, bitches.

This is so perfect. This Eagle is so ready to freak out and slash your face off in like a second and nothing is going to hold him back, not even that fucking flag. Look at him, he's practically vibrating. Do not piss off this Eagle and do not piss off Freedom. Oops, too late! The keyword here: Potential. 

Yes. This is so tight. The Eagle is escaping from inside his human prison which is literally filled with American flags! Nothing is going to hold him back, certainly not skin! What, you thought you could bully this guy? You thought he wouldn't have a winged harbinger of Justice laying dormant in his arm? Wrong, fucker! Keyword: Pissed.

Fuck yeah, I'll take another Eagle tat to go with my Eagle tat, and make it extra large, man and make his face cool. I want it to be like my lil' Eagle bro is channeling the spirits of all his ancestral Eagle bros and T-rex's. Fuckin' A, dude. Saddam is going down. Do you see this, Saddam? There is a storm coming for you. A wicked ass storm of feathery hate, raining down Liberty and such. Keyword: Never Back Down.

Holy shit. This fleshy jail cannot hold American Might! Same sentiments as the other one, but where the first one was kinda like "Fuck you, assholes," this one is straight up "You're gonna be in pain because of these talons and I got corporate representation so think about that while I'm killing you." Do not fuck with the States and DO NOT say a single negatory thing about Harley, because I will harsh you personally. Keyword on this bad boy: Motorcycles, come on.

Oh my God. This is the ultimate, for sure! Not that I'm going back on my word, but I mean, some scholars might think Eagles are pussies because they don't have arms, but allow me to present the most scholar-proof American Fuck-You Machine to ever be invented: a Human Eagle. He's got it all; the Eagle Face, the killer 'ceps, still got some feathers to take to the skies, and hell yeah, he's got his own Old Glory tattoo. The US Army should just be like, 10 of these things, cruising around in a convertible tank, slamming brews and TCB. Keyword: Awesome or Fear This.

Oh man. You terrorists are so in for it. As soon as my main man Executioner here is done filing his talons down to their appropriate killing sharpness, you're so dead. Look how hard he is working with that Freedom File. He's poppin' his 'ceps out, he's working so hard. One swipe to the jugular or Achilles, psssssshhhhhhhhh. So dead. Keyword: Nowhere To Hide.

Nice. Can't go wrong with a good ole' collage of Patriotica. Bonus points for makin' the Eagle extra badass. Look at him; he's like God The Bird peepin' all his cool shit. "American Made," damn straight. I mean, The flag-raising bit was technically "Made in Iwo Jima," and the Statue of Liberty is kinda "French Made" but whatever, bro. This aint Geography, it's Free-ography and the only rule here is finders keepers, right? Amen. Keyword: Ours Now.

Oh hey. Please allow me to play you an American classic known as Your Doom! Moving on. Keyword: Disco Sucks. 

Some say the most deadly kind of Eagle is the Desert Eagle. Hey, I'm not here to make that call. I'm just here to say that I got big love for all of my Eagle bros, be they feathered or nickel-plated. And if you rep your 'cep with a sweet Eagle you are not only cool in my book eternally, but you are protected by a higher power. It's a power of Love and Wind. A power of Fury. And a power of Grabbing fish right out of the water, for real, that shit is intense. You can have that power. Just get that Eagle. Or T-Rex. 

Wolves are pretty sweet also.