Peter, I Think We Just Saved McDonald's From Certain Death
"Greg, I was just bullshitting. Nuggnuts is a really terrible word."
"Peter, the Chicken McNugget turns 25 this year. The kids who grew up eating them love made up words. Hulu. Tivo. Shrek. Madagascar. Nuggnuts is the greatest idea you've ever had."
"Listen to me. A nug is slang for weed buds or like, balls, right? Saying you are actually Nuggnuts is like saying you're nuts for marijuana or nuts for testicles... or testicles testicles. There's no good side to this."
"Yes there is, because we've been talking about trans fat, mechanically-separated meat and man-balls for 3 hours and all it's doing is making me want a Chicken McNugget."
"Jesus. You're right. It does work! OK, let's talk strategy."
"We're taking Nuggnuts viral."
"Whoa Greg, we don't use the V-word anymore. We call a campaign viral and it dies in the water. We say social now."
"OK... we're going social. That sounds gay."
"Fine. Just say Facebook."
"We're taking these crispy tumor nugs to the FB!"
"WORD!"
"This is amazing. These little college fuckers will become friends with Nuggnuts because kids love friends."
"And then they'll... buy more McNuggets?"
"Sure they will. But we better do the other social one, just to be safe."
"Yes, Peter! Yes! These idiotic tiny people will now follow whatever Nuggnuts does in life!"
"Is that possible? I mean, will that make them buy McNuggets? That's still the plan here, Greg."
"Sure, but we can still sell McDonald's on the idea of experience as product and furthermore, answer me this. How much does a Twitter cost?"
"It's free."
"And my baby FaceBoo?
"Also free."
"And how much do we have to pay kids to upload pics of their sticky little faces to the Internaynay?"
"Nothing. They do it willingly."
"I knoooow. Follow me: The Nuggnuts campaign costs us literally, LITERALLY nothing. And guess what else just happened, Peter."
"Um. We..."
"Are millionaires now. So let's fuck babes tonight."
"This is social-tastic."
"Peter, what's that?"
"Oh, the boys upstairs wanted some print ads finally."
"Yo, what's with all the words?"
"What?"
"Look, this campaign should have no explanation at all. I like the imperatives on top but we need to change them a bit. Also, Red and Yellow is for clowns. We need urban colors. We need like, UPN colors."
"There. Dip it. Pop it. Give it. Love it. That's a fucking ad, Peter."
"Looks sort of familiar, Greg."
"Oh, whatever. We both stole the damn idea from Daft Punk, so whatever."
"Peter, the kids aren't really buying into the social campaign we have going. Maybe we should've put some real dollars into this thing after all."
"Not to worry, we've already rolled out Phase 2, Greg. When the kids don't bite, we hit their parents with more traditional channels of influence. Usually hard merch does the trick."
"Brillz, dude. Boomers love mugs!"
