The Only Camping Lesson You Need

1.) Wherever you are, that's your home. Act accordingly.

2.) Your first piece of bacon is always the best. 

3.) If there is discord in your group, bunk beds enable a natural hierarchy. 

4.) Label your mug. Drinking from another man's camping mug is like kissing his girl or hitting his dog. 

5.) Alternate coffee and whiskey every hour until you no longer know what you're drinking. 

6.) Every camping trip needs a natural oddity. This is a block field; a dried-up ancient river bed of quartzite boulders. It goes for miles and it's C-R-A-Z-Y. 

7.) If it looks like a cute little birthday cupcake for a woodchuck, it's a homemade fire starter. 

8.) Sometimes you get reception in the woods and it seems really weird. 

9.) When eagles circle in a holding pattern above you, it's time to start moving your body a little bit. 

10.) Camping is about stepping out of your comfort zone. You know you are for reals camping when you see a sign telling you to be a perv.

11.) Settlers of Catan is probably a really fun game when it's not windy.

12.) If you're in the woods long enough you'll start talking about Twitter. 

13.) C.J. Hummel's totally sells beer to go. 

14.) If you happen by a general store, it's a treat to get something local. 

15.) When camping it's wise to adopt the diet of a Hobbit. 

16.) Basically, be a Hobbit.

17.) Brain teasers are a fun way to pass the time when you're camping. 

18.) If you find yourself suddenly standing in front of a Demon Flame, grab your Phoenix Lance, summon the Light of Asgoth and make that evil fire your bitch.