Don't Censor My Heart

"LOL. Danielle is nuts! She has so many take-out menus! This office is insane, I swear."

Everyone thinks their workplace is the craaaaziest.  But really the only people that can rightfully say their office is out of control are folks in the porn biz. Those people have crazy offices. 

I don't work in porn (anymore) so the next best place to work is LOGO where I got to make this:

You hear that? That's a genuine television S-Bomb straight into your left and right channel, son. NSFD (Not Safe For Daytime) is LOGO's uncensored block of programming. On a Saturday night at 1AM it's not uncommon for the channel to show an orgy or a couple guys doing a coke or basically anything raunchy. The hard part is promoting it during actual daytime hours when butts and fucks get blurred and beeped. 

One solution is to emphasize the raciness with an overdose of censorship. The original NSFD promo (my first job at the channel) was a single scene from the American Queer As Folk where Hal Sparks' mom walks through a drug-fueled fun zone, moving in between and in front of motion-tracked, pixel-y salaciousness. 

It never aired for what the Standards Department called "obvious reasons." Like obviously not recognizing the work of a Baby Genius all grown up. Apparently the audio alone was enough to earn this clip a Level 5 Un-Airable status. You know what else got a Level 5? The Roswell Alien Autopsy and Blackstreet Unplugged. 

Anyway these shiny new promos are airing instead. Forget what you once knew about EKGs; Every spike is The Man flexing on your Heart's right to free speech. 

If you can't handle the Mixed Metaphor Heat, you better to stay out of the Censorship ER, bruh. These spots were fun to make.

Trivia Time: the guy saying "clear!" is the voice of VH1 producer extraordinaire Russell Streit. Also, seismic & geological monitors tend to be amber while medical & scientific monitors tend to be blue or green. I don't know why. That's just the rules.